so i'm pretty lonely.  i'm not really trying to complain with this post.  i just don't really have an outlet right now, and i thought here is as good as any.  and it actually makes me feel better to know that not many people i know actually read this anymore  

but yeah, it's crazy.  i'm so far from home.  well, our house is here, but not home.  i have no where to go.  and by that i mean no where to go where i belong, no people i belong with.  and, i'm not completely depressed about this or anything, because i know eventually i'll find somewhere around here where i belong.  it's just that i've never been anywhere that i wasn't always surrounded by family and friends.  even last summer in the philippines i was surrounded by my filipino friends.  but like.... i just have come to the realization  that i have no one, and no place.  of course i still have my best friends and of COURSE marcus and i are talking on the phone all the time.  he's been so amazing through this, because i'm not the best at long-distance relationships but everyone is so far away.  so that's kind of why i'm talking here.  because i'm so antsy... and lonely... and longing for.... something.  a place, and people.  and i'm dying to be in some place with some people.  i don't know if this is making any senes at all.  i just know that i need to find some people, and a place where i belong.  i don't want to end up a depressed person.  maybe this post sounds like i am in a dismal state of mind, but i'm not yet.  i am lonely, yes, but that's natural when you're in a state that you know not one person yet. 

so yes, thank you, whoever this is to, for listening.  i am just about to burst on the inside because i need something.  and i know soon i'll find it.  i think what i really need to to see my boyfriend and my best friend.  but seeing as that's not possible..... i'll have to find something else around here

hmmm, it's been a while since i posted on here.  lots of changes have occured in my life as well.  chaska, minnesota is now where i call home.  hopefully i'll become petsmart's  newest  employee here.   because even though i graduated i still don't know what i should be doing right now   i mean, i know what i want to do, but sometimes it takes a little longer to get there than i expected.  but that advice "it's not where you're going, but the road along the way that is the adventure" is starting to make sense to me.  and i'm also starting to learn just how much our  lives are spent waiting for something. 

but other than relocation and job hunting..... not much has changed.  i'm still dating marcus and we are more in love than ever.  the whole long distance relationship thing isn't the most fun, but we're managing.  OH!  i have a new neice.  her name is  emma kate, and i LOVE her. 

something about posting here on my old xanga makes me happy.  it brings back memories  of my freshman year when i first got this, and my friends and i would post every single night in the hopes  of getting comments  back   i had the best freshman year i've ever  heard of, with the best group of friends a girl could ask for   i really do miss those times  and those friends.

well, my mom's calling that supper is ready.  yeah, did i mention i still live with my parents?

this summer i think i grew up a little...

i experienced a precious new life come into this world...

and i experienced beloved lives leave this world...

i saw people accept Jesus...

and i saw people reject Jesus...

i never understood life and death before.  i still have much to learn.  but these last few months have been my first experiences with the joy of beginning and the sorrow of the ending.  through the amazing moments and the tragic ones, i am comforted because i know Jesus, the giver of life, and the author of new beginnings.

i love my family.

i'll start with the baby, blakey poo  

brian... the oldest and biggest goofball of all of us, but couldn't find any goofy pictures...

then bennett... the other middle child

and his new wife, christin, MY SISTER!!!

the beautiful bride...

and a beautiful mother...

2 weeks old
 

mom and dad with their first grandchild

my yo, where we get it from..

 

nice smile, yo

what, did you think i'd forgotten about bear?